Foundational Executive Functioning Skills: What Parents Need to Know
Have you ever wondered why your child can spend an hour building LEGO but can't remember to put their shoes on? Or why they seem to know what they should do but have a hard time actually getting started?
These everyday challenges may be related to executive functioning skills.
What Is Executive Functioning?
Executive functioning is a group of skills that helps us manage our thoughts, actions, emotions, and behaviors so we can accomplish a goal.
Think of executive functioning as the brain's management system.
Important executive functioning skills include:
Working memory: Remembering information long enough to use it
Impulse control: Pausing before acting
Task initiation: Getting started without excessive prompting
Attention: Staying focused on a task
Emotional regulation: Managing emotions and reactions
Planning: Figuring out what needs to happen and in what order
Organization: Keeping materials, spaces, and information manageable
Flexibility: Adjusting when plans change
Problem-solving: Figuring out what to do when something doesn't go as expected
These skills develop gradually throughout childhood. A preschooler is not expected to have the same level of executive functioning as an older elementary-aged child.
What Might Executive Functioning Challenges Look Like at Home?
Executive functioning is involved in everyday routines, not just schoolwork.
You might notice your child:
Needs constant reminders to get dressed or brush their teeth
Forgets directions after just a few minutes
Has difficulty starting homework or chores
Becomes overwhelmed by multi-step tasks
Struggles with transitions
Has big reactions when things don't go as planned
Frequently loses belongings
Has difficulty cleaning up or organizing
Acts before thinking
Gives up quickly when something feels difficult
These behaviors can sometimes look like defiance, laziness, or not listening, when the real issue may be that the child is struggling with an underlying skill.
Everyday Opportunities to Build Executive Functioning
You don't need a complicated program to practice these skills. Everyday routines are full of opportunities!
Try:
Break tasks into smaller steps.
Instead of "clean your room," try "put your books on the shelf."
Use visual supports.
Pictures, checklists, and routines can reduce the demand on working memory.
Practice waiting and stopping.
Games like Simon Says, Red Light/Green Light, and board games are great for impulse control.
Let your child problem-solve.
Instead of immediately fixing a problem, ask, "What could we try?"
Practice emotional regulation when your child is calm.
Teach calming strategies before they are needed.
Build independence gradually.
Move from "I do it for you" → "We do it together" → "You do it with support" → "You do it independently."
Most importantly, remember that executive functioning skills are developing skills—not character traits. Children often need practice, structure, and support before they can consistently demonstrate these skills independently.
A Great Resource for Parents
If you'd like to learn more about executive functioning, I highly recommend the resources from Dr. Peg Dawson and Dr. Richard Guare, authors of Smart but Scattered. Their website has helpful articles and resources for parents on understanding and supporting executive functioning skills.
Explore Peg Dawson's Parent Resources & Articles
Need More Support?
Executive functioning is an area I am very passionate about in my pediatric occupational therapy practice.
If your child struggles with organization, routines, emotional regulation, following directions, task initiation, or becoming more independent, my Executive Functioning Program may be a great fit.
I work with families to identify the skills that are getting in the way and develop practical strategies that can be used during everyday life.
If you think your child could benefit from additional support, reach out to learn more about my Executive Functioning Program or schedule a consultation.
Building these skills takes time—but with the right support, children can become more confident and independent.